Friday, September 16, 2011

Copy modified by writing center

I went to writing center the second week of this semester, to ask a tutor help me to modify my copy writing, and here is the copy before and after modified by tutor.

       Before modified by writing center

  • This place is a potent symbol, both culturally and politically, of an ancient Eastern culture in New York.
  • This place has a rich history that tells the story of a group of Orientals and their foreign land experience.
  • This place is about blend, it encompasses the old and new, eastern and western.
  • This is a place where you can appreciate exotic landmarks.
  • Each of the streets in this place possesses its own distinctive personality.
  • Each restaurant in this place has its unique size, shape and interior atmosphere.
  • You can find reasonable priced restaurants, unique shops of knickknacks, cheap booming fruit and fresh vegetable in this place.
  • Neon light covered with mysterious characters is the most eye-catching symbols in this place.
  • Walking in this place make you feel like an adventure which full of fascinating culture experience.
  • Don’t forget bring a good mood and enough curiosity with you! You will definitely like this place!
  • Then where is this interesting, colorful and unique place?
  • It is Chinatown Manhattan!
       After modified by writing center

  • This place is a potent symbol - culturally and politically - of an ancient Eastern culture in New York.
  • This place has a rich history, which tells the story of a people of East Asian descent and their foreign land experience.
  • This place is old and new, east and west: neon lights covered with mysterious characters.
  • This place is ancient yet familiar, with colors red and yellow, of a nation’s spirit, and Pandas black and white, and dragons powerful and strong.
  • This place has its own distinctive personality: exotic landmarks, narrow restaurants, and buildings unique in size, shape, and atmosphere.
  • This place is filled with sounds, soft and melodic, prices cheap, English broken, and yet comforting.
  • This place is Chinatown Manhattan!



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